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"Pink isn't a color. It's a lifestyle." - Chumbalaya
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"I buy models with my excess money" - Valkyrie whilst a waitress leans over him

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

6th edition awesomeness.

In the grim darkness of the 2nd millenium, there is only butthurt. Once butthurt meets insanity, rumors are formed, and forevermore will the internet's collective rear hole quiver in tense anticipation of what's to come next.

There's no time for logic, no sources, no critical thinking. There is only rumors...

* first 6th edition codexes, but release before or with rulebook, small release with single or two waves: Black Templars (1 waves: 2x plactic, 2x Finecast), Tau (1 wave: 3x plastic boxes, 4x Finecast), Necrons (2 waves) - Except this goes against all wisdom and knowledge ever, breaks company tradition, and circumvents the GW cashcow: the space marine. Marines are always the first to get codices, with multiple reasons for it, however, the only one that needs to be listed in this case is: money.

* first real 6th edition codex: Codex Chaos Legions, really big release in three waves, doesn’t invalidate Codex Chaos Space Marines which gets extensive White Dwarf update as Codex Renegade Space Marines -
Marines are first. You know this. I know this. Your mom knows this. All this whine's defanged right here, at the point, but we'll go on for fun and games. My serious face just died, too.

* two starter sets, each with rules, dices, movement markers, mission booklet, one
with Dark Angels and fitting scenery, the other with Black Legion and Chaos scenery. You can combine both to play the campaign or use one set alone to play a selection of dumbed down scenarios against every other force, first starter set that comes with a model for a well established special character - Starters will always have basic marines. They'll be painted blue, with yellow or gold trim, depending on decade. This isn't negotiable. It's good business sense to keep pushing that which sells the most.

* 6th edition is finished rulewise for some time now, the overall goal is to fix some of the long time problems of the game system. Expect a lot more fundamental improvements than last edition. The rules were even more ambitious at some stage of development, but didn’t get approved as they were too far away from the esta
blished rules. The main designer left company and his successors brought the rules back in line with the existing codexes. The rules are nonetheless a bigger step forward than from 4th to 5th. Changes are so big that the next edition relies partial on erratas to fix old codexes. Development relied heavily on feedback of veteran playtesters. You can see some results of this new approach by the way the FAQs were handled in the last months. All codexes since Codex Tyranids were written with the new rules in mind, especially the new mission and reserve structure. - What do you base this on? That blood angels and grey knights have 'infantry (character)'-units? Uhh, yeah. Great. Feedback? GW ain't getting an ounce of feedback, thanks to all the bile its been spewing on the fans for the past six years. Fluff-clauses in FAQ proves I'm confused, but the person who wrote this's insane, so it's okay.

* The main design goals are: one book to rule them
all, heroic characters, visceral combat, streamlined mechanism, cleaned up presentation and strategy before chance - False. GW are never going back to secon edition. Chance before strategy is very important. Without this mix, games aren't enjoyable to play for all ages and skill levels. Chess has only skill, so kids hate it. Candyland has only luck, so adults hate it. 40k is designed to play in a certain way, and is far too valuable for GW to use as an experimen You'll see them re-release necromunda before they annihilate 40k with bullshit like this.

* strong narrative focus on Chaos, perspective shifting from the Empire to the struggle between free races and the Warp - Except not really, because that'd be corporate suicide. Space marines and the imperium sell, not some lame badguys that are led by the lamest of the lamest.

* the biggest rule changes:
- similar ballistic to hit chart as wound chart: compare BS to target’s speed and unit type. BS 3 hits moving infantry on 4+, but lightning fast jetbikes on 6+ and stationary tank on 2+… HUGE -
This is neither rogue trader, nor fantasy warhams. False. *insert some reason into rant*. Let's assume this is correct. Remember how everyone thinks 40k is "you go first you win?" atm. This rule would make 40k very much like this. You hit with your shooting on a 2+ because I couldn't move before? Wow!

- victory points are back, but with another twist: you get two victory points if an unit holds an objective for an entire game turn, if a scoring unit holds one, you get three and one if you destroy a squad leader or vehicle - Sounds retarded. What's there to gain from this? Since when's GW into punishing players for buying those expensive vehicle- and character-kits? Never, you say? Yes, that's indeed it.

- before the game there is a bidding contest for the opportunity of the first turn, if you bid more strategic points you can go first, but the enemy can spent these points on stratagems as in Cities of Death: 22 generic stratagems – for example for one point you can decide on night fighting or place an automatic gun, for four you can shift your reserves, most expensive stratagems are at 12 points and are really drastic, every unspent point can be used once a game for a reroll - 40k isn't Apocasuck - a supplement that's failed in 21 out of 19 jurisdictions. GW wants to get away from it ASAP, because it reminds Wells of all the cash he didn't get, thanks to the 'take 9, pay for 4'-boxes.

- new turn sequence: prepare-movement-assault-shooting-consolidate new phase “consolidate” phase for random movements, jetpack movements, pursuits, morale checks/effects and resolving shooting reactions assault before shooting -Why? All wishlisting fanwank. So I prepare my movement, move, assault, then I shoot, and after this, I consolidate. Sounds like an ancient 80's game to me, and completely backwards.

– big units are real roadblocks!<< - They already are. It just takes one turn to dismantle them if you're properly geared, or - emprah forbid - made to destroy hordes in the first place.

Some more examples for the development doctrines

One rulebook for all: - No. Big no. Less money. Privateer press learned that the hard way ("WE'LL NEVER RELEASE PRINTED BOOKS, EVER!!!!!!!!"). More books equal more dough.

- flyer rules are incorporated in the main rules - There are no 'fliers' in the game. They're skimmers, mounted on tall bases, yet they're still just skimmers. Had this said 'new flier subclass added to skimmers,' it'd have sounded far more reasonable.

- narrative rule section that expands core rules: formations, super heavies, gaining experience -
No. Inquisitor failed, and GW won't try that well again. More likely to relaunch it, in fact, which has a 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000003% chance of happening.

- modular rules, core rules can easily be expanded by narratives rules or another expansion set - 40k is already modular. See planetstrike, apocafail, battle missions, cities of lame. The rest is bullshit pulled out of some bored guy's ass. 3rd and onward were all designed with modular support in mind.

Heroic characters: -
Already very heroic. Stop looking at the HQ's available to shit books, like eldar, and orks.

- independent characters more powerful, armour save and invulnerable save at the same time - False. One save, no matter what. They even limited the max to two in warhams fantasylame.

- squad leaders more important, no more 50% rallying threshold, unit can rally as long as squad leader lives - Why? This would devalue marines, so obviously false like a chinese Rolex.

- independent characters can snipe - They can already, in a limited fashion that doesn't break either them, or squad bosses.

More visceral combat: - How is it more visceral than one side always poofing? Are GW gonna include fleshy chunks we can throw on the table after resolved combats?

- standard cover only 5+ now, Feel No Pain (1) only on 5+ - Likely feel no pain gets better, judging by the inflated price of it in modern books. Cover going back to 5+ is a no-brainer.

- slow slogging units very vulnerable - Uhh, they already are. Hello? Do you know anything?

- some weapon types are specialized in taking out specific unit types and are incredible good at doing this (sniper vs. infantry without armour), but on the other hand ordnance vs flyer isn’t going to do much - Why? This is the shit GW got away from with 2nd edition, and what made them popular and famous. They're marketing a mass wargame - one that requires tons of terrain, models, vehicles, monsters, and vehicular monsters. This is what makes GW great. Why in the sweet name of Megan Fox would they throw that away? Besides, it's not like we don't already have meltaguns that are incredibly effective against armor, right?

streamlined: -
One word: no.

- no more random movement at all - Cuts into interaction. Not gonna happen, ever.

- 5 general types of psychic powers - Why? We have uhhh, way more than that already. More is betterer. Or are you thinking what I'm fearing? 'You know, Jervis. We got too many powers, man, Yeah, too many powers! Jervis, call up Gav. You and he are gonna go at this shit oldstyle!' Is there a new need for more than psychic guns, buffs, and effect spells? Maybe the fourth category will be 'psychic gun that only targets armor,' and the fifth can be 'psychic gun that buffs effects.'

- wound allocation like 4th edition on unit basis, but attacker can chose every 5th wound to go to a single model (sniper weapon every second wound) - Shit that got rid of for a reason. Not coming back.

- artillery is normal immobile vehicle squadron, crew has no other game purpose than to be a counter for rate of fire and attacks - And the cannons shoot butterflies and rainbows from their assholes.

clean up of combusted rules: - What combusted rules?

- there are tiers for most of the special rules. Instant Death (2) circumvents Eternal Warrior (1) for example. Feel No Pain (1) is 5+, Feel No Pain (2) is 4+ and Feel No Pain (3) is 3+. If no value is given, the special rule is tier 1. - This isn't warmashit, and GW knows they don't have to fear puny PP for a great, big, long time. What they sell is a wargame. PP sells a skirmish game. They appeal to different audiences. This is why butthurt warhamsés' have to use artificial means whenever they tell the world they love their Cygnar marines in Ironmacragge kingdom.

- no more difference between leadership test and morale test - Oh, really? Did they get Alessio back, or something, because no one - living or dead - is stupid enough to streamline that much.

- terrain rules on a single page, true line of sight, non-vehicles models are ignored altogether, rules for special terrain like bunkers, ruins or deathworld mangroves in narrative rule section - Yes, but can I have catachan greater barking toads?

less randomness, more strategic options: - 40k hasn't been random since the era of Gav. What are you smoking?

- more elaborate reserve rules, can nominate turn of arrvial and has only small change to arrive earlier or later, or can intervene behind enemy lines, arrives randomly but can hinder enemy reserves, must be distributed evenly between turn two and three, later arrivals only randomly - Sure sounds complicated for a game marketed towards a teenage audience.

-no more random game length - It was added for a reason, and isn't likely to ever go away unless the reason drops dead.

-no roll for first turn - Then how do you determine who goes first? Ranked blowjob aimed at a bodyproxy of Jervis? Coin toss? Oh, wait - no randomness. Well, time to get on our knees, then.

-deep striking units more than 18” from enemy away don’t scatter, but landing in 6” is much more dangerous - What?

- movement impairing effects from pinning weapons even if morale check is passed (if roll is above halved Ld), Fearless not immune to this, but only effected if rolled over full Ld -
...because? Because a game where little movement happens is really exciting? Much like a game where your opponent's not needed when it's your turn *coughWARMACHINEcough,* right?

- more reactions to shooting than going to the ground depending on unit type and special rules. bikes can evade (3+ cover as same as before, but cannot assault or shoot next turn), jump troops can fly high, units with Stealth can attempt to vanish, … - No we're not going back to overwatch of the ancient times. No, you can't have the old 'stand and shoot'-dark angel flags, either. Go away.


Some nice delusions above. While 5th edition has only gotten better with age, that's the exception, rather than the rule. To celebrate, let's look at something that won't get better with age.

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